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"I'm just the patsy!"
Maybe he was...
Depression2.tv - Michael Nystrom Editor
FEBRUARY OBSERVATIONS
F is for FRAUD
3-3-2002More on Ron Paul
Note: I lifted the below from an posting at the Free Republic. For the full text, please click here: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/fr/638181/posts

Congressman Paul told me Thursday that Greenspan is used to these out-of-the-box questions from him that cast doubt on the very legitimacy of the Federal Reserve. "My questions are always on the same subject. If I don't bring up the issue of hard money vs. fiat money, Greenspan himself does."

But at the same time, Paul says that he wasn't satisfied with Greenspan's answer. "I got what I expected: a nonanswer. He never gets into anything of substance, but, he does have a lingering doubt - he's not sure the system will work. He's a gold-standard person, but he's talked himself into believing he's the best manager in the world, and I just disagree with that."

Paul is a die-hard libertarian, who won't vote for any bill before the House - no matter how worthy it may seem - if he can't find a specific provision in the U.S. Constitution that empowers Congress to do what the bill proposes. And in that spirit, he thinks that the Federal Reserve has no right to exist in the first place. Paul told me, "All we'd have to do is support the Constitution and we'd abolish the Fed. The Federal Reserve Act is unconstitutional - nowhere in the Constitution does it say that Congress can create a central bank."

What would we do for money? Paul says, "Get the government out of money. Let the market determine it. Let American Express extend credit and decide what they want to back it with. But that's sort of idealism...so if the government is going to be involved, then government should just maintain the integrity of the monetary unit. Government should define the dollar as a weight in gold and maintain it. If I'm the secretary of treasury, I shouldn't issue the currency unless I've got the gold."

Paul puts his legislation where his mouth is. Following a bill to abolish the federal income tax, his latest effort is a law that would forbid the president, the Treasury or the Federal Reserve from engaging in any transactions in gold without specific authorization from Congress. Paul believes that the world's central banks, including the Federal Reserve, manipulate the price of gold to keep it deliberately low, to mask the inevitable inflation of their paper money.

He says, "They readily admit that foreign governments have loaned tons of gold, and Britain is outright selling gold. Our government denies it, and I don't know the answer. Right now they are sticking with the story that they do not deal in gold. I received a letter from [Treasury Secretary] Paul O'Neill stating clearly that they are not dealing in gold. This legislation is merely an attempt to open up the debate, make certain they aren't dealing in gold, or if they are that Congress knows about it."

It's hard to get radical ideas like this listened to - even if you're a congressman. I asked Paul whether he was taken seriously by his colleagues. "I think at times I'm a nuisance to them. They are so entrenched in the system. Those who do understand it would not like to rock the boat. It's no coincidence that we have a paper money system when we have a Congress that likes to spend a lot of money."

But Paul continues to fight his fight, and suspects that somewhere in Greenspan's heart of hearts, the Fed chairman may secretly be on his side. "There was a very special article he wrote in 1966 in The Objectivist Newsletter," he told me, referring to "Gold and Economic Freedom," a powerful plea for the gold standard published by radical capitalist Ayn Rand, then a close friend of Greenspan's. "I have an original copy and Greenspan signed it for me. I asked him if he still believes it, and he said he 'wouldn't change a single word.' Maybe deep down inside he's having a few doubts."

2-27-2002  Ron Paul Calls Greenspan on the Carpet!
Ron Paul To be honest, I have only heard of Ron Paul in the last few weeks, and only in connection with GATA. I don't know what his politics are outside of this area. What I do know is that this morning I saw him, live on CNBC, calling our entire fiat money system into question. I cried. He called the Untouchable, Alan Greenspan, right down on the carpet, asking if he sees any similarities between the Federal Reserve's management of money to Enron's shennanigans. He spoke the truth in the rarified air of the House Committee testimony.

He began by making reference to Greenspan's flip comments a few weeks ago about how if fiat money fails, we can always go back to seashells and oxen. That the discount window would stand ready with an adequete supply of oxen.

Following is a transcript of the exchange:

"Chairman, if we get to this point (of the collapse of the dollar), which I suspect we will someday, I ask that we have hearings to debate the issue of what medium exhange we will have before the Fed starts using oxen as a medium of exchange...

"I feel that it is an important point, and I want to relate that to the Enron issue. In many ways I feel that the system you have been asked to manage is similar to being asked to manage an Enron system. Because Congress is notoriously in favor of deficit spending. We are currently expanding the national debt at $250 billion per year, and we have nearly a $6 trillion debt*. Now we create that debt by buying votes. We spend alot of money.

"Now, the Federal Reserve comes in and they buy that debt in order to maintain the interest rate that they think is the right interest rate. And they take that and use it as an asset. You put it in the bank, you call this debt that we created an asset, and you use it as collateral for our Federal Reserve Notes.

"So that's a pretty good scheme, and I think in the moral terms, as well as the economic terms, it is very similar to how Enron operates. I'm not convinced that this system works very well because alot of people here praise you for the adequate amount of liqidity, and that's what inflation is - you create more money, lower interest rates. Every time you ask for liquidity, every time you ask for lower interest rates, you're asking for inflation of the money supply. And I think what we fail to ever do is ask about the cost.

"Do we ever concern ourselves about the people who have had 2/3 of their income removed because they happen to be savers, and living off interest? We gouge them with interest, inflation, a loss of purchasing power, as well as taxing that. And a lot of people in this country have suffered from that particular system.

"Now the analogy that I would like to draw is something that you said in your testimony on page 13. And you have mentioned several times now that Enron may be a good lesson. And I think it is. And I'm not for more of this regulation by the SEC. I think you're correct that derivatives provide a market tool that is worthwhile. But you said the Enron decline is the effective illustration of the vulnerability of a firm who's market value largely rests on capitalized reputation, with very little if no physical assets.

"That's exactly what our monetary system is all about. And that's why I believe that the dollar is vulnerable. We in Congress do not have a responsibility to run Enron. Some other government has the responsibility to deal with fraud. We have a responsibility to the dollar. And I think that's what we fail so often to address around here.

"And you said that Enron provides the encouragement that the force of market discipline can be counted on over time to foster a much greater transparency. That's exactly what the market does with money. If you look at the rapid and sudden devaluations of the fiat currencies around the world, if you look at what happened to us in '79 and '80, that was the market coming in and enforcing vulnerability & transparency on us.

"Now, gold gives you a hint as to what's happening. Gold has sent a mild message in this past year, in spite of the fact that central banks and other continually sell and loan out gold to push the price of gold down. But there is a message there.

"So I would ask you, can you see any correlation between what you're asked to do in running our monetary system to that which Enron was involved in?"

Greenspan's response:

"I hope there are fundamental differences.....er...ar...I mean there are… ...it's ....ah,.. first, dealing with a fiat currency, what it essentially is that we are doing is that the currency is granted value by fiat of the sovereign, as it is said in the text books. The issue there is that..uh...in years past..uh..there have been, there's been considerable evidence.. that fiat currencies have been mismanaged in general and that inflation has been too often the result.

"What I was mentioning in the speech that you were referring to was the fact that there is some evidence that we're learning that lesson…learning how to manage fiat currency..ah...ah...I've always had some considerable skepticism about whether that in a long run can succeed, but I must say to you the evidence..errr...of recent decades is that it has been succeeding. Whether that continues is a forecast which I can't really ...er....project on.

"The Enron situation is essentially one in which..ah..there was an endeavor to imply that earnings were much greater than they really were. That increasing debt was hidden. I can think of no reason to have done what they did with their off-balance sheet transactions, other than to obscure the extent of the debt that they had, and what was essentially squandered in that process was the reputational capital, which they had succeeded in achieving over a period of time...and I don't perceive that …er….that anything that we are doing as a central bank..ah.. involves anything related to that..I hope that ….uh…where we need to be transparent and indicate what we are doing, we do so and we do so except in those areas where it - as I mentioned to you previously- ah…inhibits the ability to actually function as a central bank. But as I say in summary I hope your analogy is inappropriate."

Paul's last word:

"I'll keep hoping."

Watch the video: C-SPAN House Financial Services Committee Testimony - 2/27/2002. The Ron Paul Rumble comes at 1:20:48


I have set up a new
GATA resource page. It is a work in progress, but there is a sample letter which you can send to your representative, and I enourage you to send it to the press as well, as GATA is getting snubbed. The story is apparently not entertaining enough. In fact, I watched the above exchange on CNBC, and they broke away before Greenspan's remarks! Broke away to check in on more titty-tainment from the Enron he-said, she-said story.


*By the way, America's national debt surpassed $6,000,000,000,000 yesterday, to finish the day at: $6,002,734,772,404.52. SEE FOR YOURSELF

More news you won't hear on CNN: This is well over the statutory debt ceiling set by Congress at $5.95 trillion. The government is operating outside the bounds of the law. But what else is new?


Where is your money going? 2003 Budget
2-22-02Sweating Bullets
2-20-2002Recovery?
Bankruptcy filings set record

WASHINGTON -- A record 1.45 million Americans filed for personal bankruptcy protection in 2001, and business filings jumped 13 percent last year to 40,099, according to data released yesterday by the Administrative Office of the U.S. Courts.

The number of personal bankruptcies last year breaks the previous high mark of 1.4 million in 1998 and is 19 percent over the 2000 level.

Higher unemployment is the main factor in the rise, with middle-income Americans carrying record debt levels and creditors showing a greater willingness to lend to people with tarnished credit histories, analysts said.

Kenneth Posner, an analyst at Morgan Stanley Dean Witter & Co., said he expects personal filings to increase this year by 15 percent more, based on projections that the nationwide unemployment rate will peak at 6.2 percent by June.

*** Columnist Recommends Selling Stocks! (2/19/2002)***




Finally, a comment on gold. It has, alas, backed off from $300. It had been hanging around there, consolidating at the high for a few days now. A good sign. Today it backed off, and at this moment is trading around $292.50 (spot). Hmmph. After listing to GATA on C-SPAN (see below), I've got a new understanding and appreciation for the problem: JPMChase and others have so much at risk in the interest rate and gold derivatives markets that a real spike would be ruinous. To them, to us, to the world financial system. The gold cartel will try to make sure that it won't happen. If this means slamming the market down one last time, so be it.

A market can be manipulated for a while, but not forever. Maybe if they can get it down low enough, enough of the derivatives can be safely unwound... Who knows. I do know that Robert Prechter over at Elliott Wave International has had a long standing prediction of gold under $200 before it takes off again. Maybe the Gold Cartel will try to bomb it back to the stone age...

At any rate, stay tuned. I'm working on a piece for Chronicles on gold. Should be out on Thursday or Friday. If you want me to contact you when it's done, send me an email.

In the mean time, read the first special report from Chronicles on Japan. We're not out of the woods there yet.

Michael
***
text
2-18-2002Titty-tainment
The inventor of the word "titty-tainment" is Zbigniew Brzenzinksi, National Security Advisor under Jimmy Carter. He first used the word at a gathering of world leaders at the Fairmont Hotel in San Francisco in 1995. The topic of the discussion was "the future of work."

At the meeting, the world leaders seemed to agree that in the society of the 21st century, 20% of the people would be wealthy, with well paying work, and the other 80% would be kept docile, as if in a state of semi-hypnosis, by means of what Brzezinski called "titty-tainment" - a mixture of deafeningly predictable, lowest common denominator entertainment for the sold and nourishment for the body.

The word is made from the word "tits" and entertainment" akin to mothers nursing and conditioning children with a plug-in-drug.

Imagine the warm, semi hypnotic feeling viewers get when watching news as dramatic and important as: (program titles in parentheses) the Gulf War ("Desert Storm"), the O.J trial ("Trial of the Century"), Impeachment Hearings ("Presidency in Crisis"), the Bull Market ("NASDAQ"), the War on Terrorism ("America Fights Back"), the Enron Collapse ("Big Business on Trial"), while sipping on a large diet coke, enjoying a main course of cheeseburgers, fries and single size, deep fried apple pie.

Thank you: AOLTimeWarnerCNN, DisneyCapCitiesABCESPN, and GEMicrosoftMSNBC. The programs you bring make me feel so good inside.

+++

For a small dose of titty-tainment, see the website: www.tittytainmnet.com. My first encounter with the word comes from the book The Global Trap : Globalization and the Assault on Democracy & Prosperity by Hans-Peter Martin & Harald Schumann. An alltogether excellent book.
2-16-2002 - ? - How much did you earn again - ? -
Question: How much did Enron earn last year?

Next question: How much of that figure was real?

The questions, of course, are moot, because:

"Investors frequently cannot detect from publicly available information whether a company is experiencing difficulties." - Stephen Cutler, Securities & Exchange Commission

What are investors likely to do, at the first whiff of trouble? I refer you to the advice given below:


Rule 1: DON'T PANIC!
***
Rule 2: PANIC FIRST!


If you have credible information or suspicions about a company that you work for using funny accounting, exercise your right to rule #2. Then, contact the SEC. They have an investor complaint division, and they want to hear from you:

SEC Complaint Center

2-14-2002*** Dow kisses 10,000 on Valentine's Day - 10,002 ***
2-14-2002GATA

GATA stands for the Gold Anti-Trust Action (Committee). I was up late last night, and thanks to several postings on the Gold-Eagle Forum, I caught their presentation on C-SPAN2. Man! These are extremely serious allegations: In a nutshell, the allegation is that there has been (and still is) a well orchastrated conspiracy to keep the gold price artificially low. They are supporting a lawsuit to this effect. Named as defendants are:

Bank for International Settlements
Alan Greenspan
William J. McDonough
J.P. Morgan & Co. Inc.
Chase Manhattan Corp.
Citigroup, Inc.
Goldman Sachs Group, Inc.
Deutsche Bank AG and
Lawrence H. Summers, Secretary of the Treasury.

!!!


Conspiracies get a bad name. Say the word, and people think you're a kook. But as Bill Murphy, head of GATA so eloquently pointed out last night, the 9/11 attacks were the result of a conspiracy. The Enron collapse was the result of a conspiracy.

These folks are starting to make noise, and they're gaining a following in Washington. It is best we keep our eye on them.

***


C-SPAN has just made available on the Internet the broadcast of GATA's conference in Washington on Tuesday. If your Internet browser has a media player program, you should be able to watch and listen. Go to this page:

http://www.c-span.org/business_economy/

About halfway down the page, you'll see this paragraph:

Gold Anti-Trust Action Committee: "The Gold Standard." Tuesday, February 12, 2002 -- Washington, DC Speakers: Catherine Austin Fitts, President, Solari and former assistant secretary of housing; William Murphy III, chair, GATA; Chris Powell, GATA secretary/treasurer. Length: 1 hr. 50 min.

Click on "watch" next to that paragraph and, with luck, you'll be able to watch and listen to the whole conference.

You can purchase from C-SPAN a videotape of the conference by going here:

http://www.c-spanstore.com/

If you're interested, you probably should act quickly, since C-SPAN doesn't keep this stuff around more than a week or two.

CHRIS POWELL,
Secretary/Treasurer
Gold Anti-Trust Action Committee Inc.

I just lifted this from the Gold Eagle Forum
2-14-2002Don't forget to remember.

Rule 1: DON'T PANIC!
***
Rule 2: PANIC FIRST!


The market had a nice rally today, and over the past few days. Japan had a nice spike. Gold is cooling off a bit, which is to say that its not spiking up the way it has over the past few days...

At a time like this, it is easy for the average investor to breathe a sign of relief. Phew! That crisis is over, now things can get back to normal. The only problem is, that the problems are still there. JPM still has a $29 trillion derivative book (Grant's). (It was down 4% today) That's five times the value of the U.S. economy. Japan's banks are still going to cap the insurance on bank accounts at $75,000 in April. The bank in runs in Japan haven't started yet, which is only to say that they've been put off a little while longer.

The American memory is built to forget. It is the source of our fabled optimism and can-do spirit. It can be a great advantage. Or, of course, a great liability, depending on the times. When I was a stockbroker, a fellow broker had a big position in Micron. He bought it at the high, about $90. When it sank, he bought more, thinking it would surely rebound. It never did. It took him on a staircase to hell, bouncing him every which way down to about $30. All the while, of course, he was quite optimistic about his prospects for at least breaking even. So optimistic, in fact, that even when it rallied sharply, he held out for more. Finally, of course, he broke, and sold the stock out in disgust. At the low. It was both agony and entertainment to witness. Such folly we humans are prone to.

His story, taken on a collective scale, is the story of all boom's and busts. The late comers lose everything, all the while hoping for the riches they thought they were promised.

Remember that the world has changed. This is the New, New Era, of war, bankruptcy, fraud, a bought and stolen presidency... Good for consumers, if you've got the dough. Thank God the Fed hands it out like candy!

If you haven't seen the intro to this site, please take a look at it, here. I've gotten complaints about it, believe me. But I think it serves as a good reminder that things can change in an instant, that you can be blindsided by the impossible.

Don't be afraid to heed the larger picture, and consider a possibility other than the one they tell you about on TV. Try it. It's okay. There are no thought police here. Not yet, anyway.

After this exercise, you may want to consider taking this opportunity to heed Rule #2 above.

2-13-2002Random Thoughts

CNBC is still trotting out the bulls for show. And who should be on tonight but John Lipsky, Chief Economist at JPMorganChase. Is it any wonder he's so bullish? He has to be. The stock isn't doing so hot here recently: It made a new post 9/11 low recently, badly lagging the rest of the market. And for good reason. It stands to lose a bundle from Enron, Global Crossing and Kmart. The NY Times notes, "Bank executives have been reassuring employees in recent weeks and telling investors that much of the market's anxieties about the company are overblown." Sounds exactly like what Ken Lay said when he was dumping Enron Stock.  And look at him now, burning in congressional hearings.


The article continues, "optimists say it is unlikely that the stock (JPM) will rally until the economic environment improves..." So of course they trot out their chief economist with bullish news. He's got to rally the troops!  Because the market has to go up, because of that little matter with the $29 trillion (yes trillion) outstanding in their derivatives book.

In the end, thoug what's bad for JPMorgan is bad for the world. If they slip down the hole, dragging the financial system down with them, the world political system won't be far behind.

MEANWHILE...The analysts over at Prudential downgraded Newmont Mining to a SELL yesterday! Sell? When was the last time you heard that word in the demure world of stock analyst recommendations? Did they ever once issue a sell on Enron? Perhaps an "underperform" rating when the stock was in single digits.

Mind you, NEM is an unhedged gold producer, a member of both the HUI (Amex Goldbugs) and XAU (Phlx Gold & Silver) indexes. It is the second largest component in the XAU (behind ABX), and the largest in the HUI. Both of these indexes are up about 30% since the start of the year.  All the major averages, which are net negative. NEM itself is up about 30% for the year. If this were a tech stock back in the old days, we'd get a nice high price target. Instead, from Pru, we get a price target of 10! They're predicting it will lose over half of its value!

Based on the above two observations, I do declare, something fishy is going on here.  D2's recommendation: Sell JPM, buy NEM, head for the hills! 

Check the link.
2-10-2002Gold Closes Above $300
***
Gold Above $300!
***
Check the chart.
***
2-10-2002But What Does it Mean?
The price of gold closed above $300 for the first time in over two years. Its really spiking up. There is much nervousness that the Japanese Banks could go under in March. Moody's is issuing "survivability ratings." The banks have to realize their bad loans - the government is forcing them to. Meanwhile, Japan 10 year bonds are going stone cold. The government has to raise rates to attract more money. Did you know Japan has $5 trillion in public debt? This is close to ours at $5.9 trillion. Interest rates could spiral up real quickly in that environment. No confidence in the money.

The Observer says: "Japanese consumers have also been flocking to banks to convert the rapidly depreciating yen into gold bars." I think "flocking" is probably an overstatement, but I know that it is a growing trend. (I went to go look at gold today at a coin shop near my house. Kruggerands & American Eagles are only 92% pure, But Canadian Maple Leafs and the Austrailian pieces are .999)

Then there is Enron. Enron was a big derivatives player, and it did a lot of business with JPMorganChase. JPMChase has $29trillion in outstanding derivatives. Suddenly one of their counterparties has disappeared. That's all derivitaves are -bets among counterparties. They're structured so they all even out, theoretically, but what if a counter party disappears? Remember Long Term Capital Management? It was a disaster, albeit a contained disaster. Who understood it? Who understood Enron?

One more thing. JPMChase has a ton of gold short sale derivatives. Now that gold is going up, they stand to lose big time, so big time that the whole system comes down. Gold is telling a story. It is best we listen right now.

The Gory Details.
***
2-8-2002Why so much fraud?
Why the sudden bull market in Fraud? Enron is not just another juicy scandal. Enron is a cancer on capitalism, and the big question is how far this cancer has already spread. While Enron is the scapegoat and the punching bag, the disease has already spread to the nodes of the marketplace, poisoning the rest of the financial system.

Just look around: In addition to Enron, we now have Global Crossing, the Baltimore currency trader in Ireland who bilked $750 million, Znetix in Seattle, the banker in the midwest (see below).

So, why the bull market it fraud? It's not that it is new. Shenanigans at Enron, Global Crossing and Znetix have been going on for years. It's just that we choose to notice it now. During the Great Bull Market, everyone was happy because everyone was making money. All was good. Now that times are hard, and the money has vanished, we're not so happy. Where did the money go, we wonder. In searching for the answer, we find the dirt and decay that was always there, underpinning the appearance of wealth.

Enron Debacle Clearing House.
***
In the end, however, Enron is just tittytainment. Not only is it the scapegoat for our anger, it is also the smokescreen, obscuring the real story which is unfolding: America's second great depression.

How far will the market fall? The Friday rally on the Dow and Nasdaq was nice: 1.25% and 2.00% respectively. But it still couldn't erase the fact that both markets were down for the week, the Dow about 1.5% and the Nasdaq almost 5%. Meanwhile, the XAU was UP over 6.25%! A loud signal is being sent. This is the beginning of the changing of the guards.

To keep up to date on the REAL story of the unfolding second great depression, 2nd great depression, stay tuned in to Chronicles.
2-06-2002Fraud
Some quick notes on Fraud: There is, of course, Enron. I will not say anything more than Enron than it is merely the tip of the iceberg.

A tiny article appeared in Sunday's (2/3/2002) NY Times, page 27. It was so short, that I've just reproduced it here for you:

Bank Chief Accused of Stealing Millions.

Oakwood, Ohio (AP) - A bank president has been accused of embezzling $40 million to invest in South Carolina gambling boats, leading the federal government to take over the bank.

The FDIC closed Oakwook Deposit Bank Company on Friday, the same day its president, Mark Steven Miller, appeared in Federal District court in Toledo...

Mr. Miller, 47, was being held in the Lucas County Jail today as Federal officials tried to find another bank to take over Oakwood's deposits. The government said bank customers who have up to $100,000 invested would get their money back...

According to an FBI affidavit, Mr. Miller admitted that he had manipulated bank records since at least 1999 to send cash to Stardancer Casino Cruises, based in Myrtle Beach, S.C. He and his brother, Gregory, are said to on 38 percent of Stardancer.

***

That's all the article says. Note that a bank has gone under, and note the global trend toward fraud:

Page 6 of today's (2/5/2002) Financial Times notes:

Tokyo Reels from Latest Food Scandal


Tokyo - ...The latest [food scandal] is a beef scandal that has shattered the public's faith in a once respected household brand and dashed consumer confidence in the safety of food.

Japanese police raided about 30 offices of Snow Brand Food over the weekend after the meat packaging company admitted that employees repackaged Australian beef and illegally labelled the packages as domestic meat to obtain government subsidies. The company carried out the deception to take advantage of a government policy to buy all domestic beef that was affected by a mad cow disease (BSE) scare last year.

Snow Brand Food's share price plunged 20% yesterday to a mere 34 yen...

***
Znetix
Fraud
Finally, Seattle has a local version of Enron. I'm sure many localities do. Ours is a company called "Znetix," which in the late 20th Century claimed to be "Developing Medical Services & Fitness Technologies for the New Millenium." Turns out that they did nothing but bilk investors out of $74 million. Article here. They were quite good at it. Unfortunately, their website is now down, but one relic remains: An article about the Miss Znetix Unlimited Hydroplane can be found here. I remember not knowing a thing about the company, other than they had this hydroplane, a huge sign at Safeco Field, a real flashy website. Oh, and they got Shaquille O'Neil to wear a Znetix hat at a press conference after the Lakers won the NBA Championship. For many, that was apparently enough to "invest" in the company.

How times change.
***
text
2-5-2002Poor Ken Lay




***
Poor Ken Lay. Just the Patsy.

***
Sign of the Times, my friends.

 

1-31-2002How Business Is Done - Enron Style
by Anonymous
Capitalism:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

Enron Capitalism:
You have two cows. You sell four of them to your publicly traded company, using letters of credit signed by your brother-in-law the auditor, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general partnership so that you get all six cows back, with a tax exemption for nine cows.

Transfer the milk rights of the fifteen cows via an intermediary to a Cayman Island partnership secretly owned by the Vice President of Finance, who sells the rights to all eighteen cows back to your listed company.

The Annual report says the company owns twenty eight cows, with an option to purchase fourteen more using a debt/equity swap. All cows are hedged with puts, including unpurchased cows.

Provide only selected portions of the Balance Sheet. All cows are pro forma.

Trade all fifty cows for the Presidency & Vice Presidency of the United States, leaving you with a negative number of cows.

The public always buys your bull. Leave it to the public to clean up your mess.

****
I got the above in an email today from a friend. Apparently from Eat the State.
Check out the 2002 predictions & other articles in the archives
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